Advent. Day 20. Mrs Claus faces Rudolf across a table strewn with half-chewed carrots and maps of the North Pole. The rebel leader’s red nose is still blistered from the Massive Cracker Incident.
‘I can’t forgive him,’ said Rudolf. ‘Not after all he’s done. Not after the Cracker, and the exploding baubles, and all he’s put my boys through. I just… I just can’t.’
Mrs Claus produces a bundle from under her cloak. Rudolf’s guards flinch, but he waves them off. Mrs Claus would never hurt him.
‘Would this help?’
And there, on the table, is Mrs Claus’s Christmas Ham, a mighty peace offering if ever there was one. Her very own piece of lovingly roasted pig, from her own table: the Ham of Santa, no less…
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