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A Global Famine? The Twin Crises of the Agricultural World

A Global Famine? The Twin Crises of the Agricultural World

The Financial Times, 4th March 2035

The “Archaeobiome” is the latest buzzword in scientific study. But is it something the rest of us should be more worried about?

So far, the threat’s been fairly low-key. The locust armadillo, a tiny shelled animal about an inch and a half long – although apparently they’re getting larger – was first spotted in Nigerian maize fields four years ago. It’s now seen in six different Sub-Saharan African nations and in a stripe right across South America. So far, they’ve been a nuisance more than anything, but their numbers have grown every summer, and projections of this summer’s brood aren’t hopeful.

Which wouldn’t be too alarming on its own if it wasn’t due to meet the spread, from America’s Mid-West and parts of Europe’s Mediterranean farming regions, of a new strain of colonising fungus. Savanomycetes coccinea, a fast-growing red bloom that chokes out other plant life and – most alarmingly – apparently lives on plastics and petrochemicals, has so far been susceptible to regular pesticides, but it’s reportedly adapting quickly, and a few crops have already come up short the past year or two.

So agribusiness has taken hits before – the loss of the Gros Michel cultivar of bananas in the 1950s comes to mind – and survived. Is this any different? Well, with President Fredericks reportedly in closed talks with the WTO and World Bank on an undisclosed matter, betting money says this is likely to be a volatile market – and a real threat to economic and political stability – in coming years.

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CEO of Northern Brook resigns amid parasite scandal

CEO of Northern Brook Resigns Amid Parasite Scandal

The Washington Post, 22nd June 2034

Nathan Hendrix, the CEO of soft drinks company Northern Brook, resigned today amid reports he was aware of the contamination of his company’s bottled water with the Archaean Parasite as early as January this year.

Following the discovery in March that two major bottled water brands had been contaminated with the so-called “Archaean Parasite,” a major CDC and FDA investigation uncovered evidence last month, as we’ve previously reported, that the contamination appears to have been deliberate. Further investigation has revealed that in at least one case, senior management were aware of the contamination as early as last winter and took no steps to report or attempt to deal with the contamination.

Millions of bottles of Northern Brook’s Northern Brook Spring Water and Beverco’s Clan Claddagh Natural Mineral Water around the world are believed to be contaminated with the Parasite – tentatively named Toxoplasma archaii – previously exclusively associated with Ancient Springs’ Archaean Water.

Thus far, no harmful effects are known to be associated with the Parasite, and devotees of Archaean Water, who claim it promotes empathy, emotional intelligence and mental wellbeing, have been quick to embrace the organism’s discovery, claiming it has a beneficial part to play in symbiosis with the human race. Pills and powders containing the Parasite are available through homeopathic and natural remedies stores as a nutritional supplement.

A spokesman for Nathan Hendrix earlier gave this statement: “Mr. Hendrix only wished to avoid public panic, especially given that the water is apparently entirely safe for human consumption. In hindsight, he regrets his decision and any harm it may have brought to Northern Brook’s reputation, and wishes his former employers and shareholders well.” The spokesman declined to comment on any severance package Hendrix may have agreed with Northern Brook.

At time of writing, Northern Brook has yet to reply to request for comment.

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Terror-jaw

Terror-jaw

This article refers to the Archaean predator. For the 2030s Boston-based punk-pop band, see Terror-Jaw (Band).

Some of the content of this article may be original research. Please help by finding citations for it.

A terror-jaw (also known as a shark-dog[1] or bullet-raptor[2]) or Pseudoraptor georgii[citation needed] is a small,[citation needed] warm-blooded[3] predator[citation needed] first observed in suburban Brownsville in Texas, United States in 2033,[4] although their current range is believed[by whom?] to extend as far as Florida and California. Hairless, thick-skinned quadrupeds with larger hind limbs than forelimbs, a large balancing tail and a crested skull, they bear a superficial resemblance to “raptor” dinosaurs, although terror-jaws are currently still unclassified in biology.[citation needed]

Appearance and Anatomy [edit]

Terror-jaws have thick, hairless hides similar to pachyderms,[5] with colouring from brown to grey-brown to black observed,[6] although whether these shades represent different subspecies or just individual variation is uncertain.[citation needed] No specimens have yet been found with any sort of fur or hair; the distinctive patterns of growth discernible on most terror-jaws’ hides was found, by researcher Julio-Maria Mendes in February 2032, to be a form of benign parasite similar to whale-lice.[7] Terror-jaws are relatively small,[citation needed] with no confirmed specimen yet found more than 102cm from the snout to the tip of the tail,[citation needed] although eyewitness reports[by whom?] suggest creatures up to twice that length may exist.

The high crested skull differs significantly from individual to individual, although it has been theorised[by whom?] that some variation is due to trauma, as terror-jaws are frequently observed[citation needed] butting each other with their skulls. Terror-jaws are polyphyodont, with individual specimens so far found to have between 56 and 108 sharp, narrow teeth in up to three rows.[8][9]

Diet and Behaviour [edit]

Terror-jaws are carnivorous[citation needed] and predatory,[citation needed] relying chiefly on birds and rodents for their diets, although conflicting reports[by whom?] suggest they will attack larger prey and survive by scavenging.[citation needed] Terror-jaws appear to hunt in small packs,[10] although larger, older animals may become solitary and territorial.[11]

Life Cycle [edit]

Terror-jaws are oviparous, laying eggs in clutches of at least three or four,[12] although significantly larger numbers have been noted.[by whom?] Reports are inconsistent as to the size of terror-jaw eggs, varying between 5-6mm[13] and 35-65mm.[14]

Classification [edit]

Main article: Taxonomy of the Archaeobiome

Warm-blooded, hairless, scaleless, oviparous and polyphyodont, terror-jaws have so far eluded classification.[15][16] In their paper “On the Classification of Pseudoraptor, Pseudodasypus and Neogorgonopsia,”[17] Drs. Emma Chambers and Lu Xiuchang of Magdelene College, Cambridge proposed that all three new animals be assigned to an entirely new biological class under Tetrapoda, tentatively named Archaea.

The classification is fiercely debated,[18] with strong support for Chambers and Xiuchang’s proposal from advocates of the Archaeobiome theory.[19]

See also [edit]

• Locust Armadillo

• Bird-Dog

• The Archaeobiome

• Cryptozoology

Would you like to know more? Check out Extinction Biome: Invasion

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INVASION! Army of GIANT WASPS to hit Britain this Summer

INVASION! Army of GIANT WASPS to hit Britain this Summer

The Express, 19th September 2032

An army of GIANT SUPER-WASPS is scheduled to hit British shores this summer, The Express can report.

The wasp, an unusually large and aggressive strain, was first identified in 2028 in Brazil, where it apparently spread into rural areas from the Amazon basin. Scientists think the insect is native to the deep rainforest and has changed its breeding and migration patterns in response to the recent string of heatwaves in the region, but haven’t ruled out the possibility that the wasps, which appear to belong to an ENTIRELY NEW SPECIES, has arisen through mutation.

US and Brazilian authorities insist there’s little chance the wasp will spread significantly further than it already has, but Dr. Jordan Hargreaves of the Institute for Environmental Studies in Leeds confirms: “Wasps like this lay eggs wherever they can. Imported fruit from the region could be carrying eggs; it’s not impossible the new strain will prove to be a parasitic wasp, laying its eggs in other insects, even livestock animals. We should be prepared for the likelihood they will appear in Britain in the near future.”

The Foreign Office has not replied to a request for comment.

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Onyx River Court challenge verdict

Onyx River Court Challenge Verdict

The Guardian, 6th May 2031

Environmental court finds in favour of drinks company

The long-running legal dispute between environmental activists and an American soft drinks company over the future of an Antarctic river ended today, reports The Guardian’s Jenni Havers.

A Globalchem tanker containing ten million litres of water from the expanded Onyx River landed in California three years ago, sparking a long-running dispute as to the legality of collecting and exploiting the water. Ancient Springs, a newly-formed subsidiary of CornuCorp that purchased the water from Globalchem, argued that the water was collected for scientific purposes, and that the owners had the right to process or sell the water freely after their research was completed.

Thomas Mwambe, speaking for a coalition of environmental groups including Australia’s Icy Waters, New Zealand’s Whole Earth and Greenpeace, says the volume of water transported indicates that the intention was always to exploit the water commercially. “The recent sharp rise in the current of the Onyx River is a matter of grave alarm, not an opportunity for yet more corporate greed. Some of the meltwater coming down that river hasn’t seen sunlight or open air for more than a million years.”

Justice Erzbet Grgic of the United Nations Commission for Environmental Law – also known as the Environmental Court – ruled that while Globalchem’s presence in the region may have been an infraction of the Antarctic Treaty, the water couldn’t have been returned to its source without contaminating a fragile ecosystem, and the sale was legitimate. Mwambe’s coalition is reportedly planning to throw its efforts behind their separate ongoing lawsuit against Globalchem for trespassing.

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Happy publication day Extinction Biome: Invasion!

Brace for impact! Addison Gunn’s Extinction Biome: Invasion crashes into bookshops today – seek it out, comrades!

But what the heckins is it all about, we hear you cry? Well, read on to find out:

Four years in the military, training for a war that never happened, left Alexander Miller disillusioned and apathetic. Now, as second in command of COBALT, a corporate bodyguard unit for the biotech giant Schaeffer-Yeager, he’s little more than a glorified chauffeur to the wealthy elite. But times change.

A threat from the ancient past has reawakened, and like a Biblical plague it threatens to consume every ecosystem on Earth. Hordes of parasite-infected humans riot against the increasingly powerless authorities as vast fungal blooms destroy crops and terrifying beasts stalk city streets.

The last time this happened, T-Rex found itself on the menu. But mankind’s got more than teeth – it’s got guns. Miller and the men and women of COBALT are pressed into service to fight the onslaught, but they have no idea how cut-throat their corporate masters can be…

The author, part-mad, all military genius, has been talking up a storm about Extinction Biome: Invasion over at A Fantastic Librarian and The Big Thrill – read, enjoy, and, crucially, go and buy the book. Gunn is not a man to be trifled with…

Extinction Biome is out now!
Buy: UK|US|EBOOK

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Extinction Biome: Operation Sea Mink out today!

Action! Adventure! Nuclear warheads! Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? And it is! Operation Sea Mink, the latest eBook installment of Addison Gun’s rather brilliant Extinction Biome, is out today.

While collecting a team of Schaefer-Yeager scientists from Infected territory, our hero Alex discovers the Archaeans, a group of Infected with a degree more control over themselves, falling victim less slowly to the Archaeobiome. He also meets their leader: his ex-girlfriend, Samantha.

On returning to the Compound, they learn that the nuclear warhead Harris had sent for had arrived in the East River, but the freighter was damaged, its crew lost or incapacitated. Gray sends Miller on OPERATION SEA MINK, a mission to retrieve the warhead before an increasingly paranoid and ambitious Harris gets to it…

Extinction Biome is a new military-SF series about a world overrun by an ancient ecology, awakened from a millennia-long dormancy to destroy the human race; and about the decisions we must make to try and survive…

Extinction Biome: Operation Sea Mink is out now!
Buy: eBook

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Happy publication day Operation Honshu Wolf!

How do you take your military SF? How’s about full of guts, glory and an existential threat to humanity, penned a reclusive military genius Addison Gunn*, and wrapped up in a stylish bow, Abaddon style. 

Sounds good, eh? Well it is! Operation Honshu Wolf, the first installment in Extinction Biome, is out in eBook format today. Hooray! But what’s it about, you cry? Well…

Four years in the military, training for a war that never happened, left Alexander Miller disillusioned and apathetic. Now, as second in command of COBALT, a corporate bodyguard unit for the biotech giant Schaeffer-Yeager, he’s little more than a glorified chauffeur to the wealthy elite. But times change.

A threat from the ancient past has reawakened, and like a Biblical plague it threatens to consume every ecosystem on Earth. Hordes of parasite-infected humans riot against the increasingly powerless authorities as vast fungal blooms destroy crops and terrifying beasts stalk city streets. The last time this happened, T-Rex found itself on the menu. But mankind’s got more than teeth – it’s got guns.

Schaeffer-Yeager CEO L. Gray Matheson has plans, and the turn-around starts now. Miller’s been assigned to OPERATION HONSHU WOLF, finding essential S-Y staff in the nightmare and getting them to a safe haven…

Extinction Biome: Operation Honshu Wolf is out now!
BUY NOW!

*Aided and abetted by two supremely talented new authors in the shape of Anne Tibbets and Malcolm Cross.