Advent, 9 December 2015: Santa Wars!
A loyalist Elf batallion shivers in the trenches beyond Burnt Turkey Ridge. They clutch sharpened candy canes and await the rebels. Word comes down that Rudolfite troops are headed right for them.
‘Remember what we’re fighting for, lads,’ says Sergeant Merrymittens. ‘Presents under trees! Drinking before midday! Eating so much you feel sick! Christmas, damnit, we’re fighting for Christmas!’
The ragged elven cheer is shortlived. The rebels, led by Colonel Prancer, smash into their flank. Candy canes crack; baubles rain down on defender and attacker alike; elf battles elf.
‘For Santa!’ cries Merrymittens, hurling himself at a charging reindeer.
For a time, all is chaos, and violence, and tinsel.
…and then it’s over. The battlefield is strewn with broken baubles and slightly scratched elves.
On Burnt Turkey Ridge, in a heavily fortified bunker of triple-baked ginger bread, Claus surveys the destruction.
‘Rudolf,’ he whispers, a single tear rolling down his rosy red cheek. ‘What have I done…’
War is hell people. But you know what’s actually kind of great? Advent, that’s what! And today we’re celebrating with another awesome offer: Al Ewing’s Death Got No Mercy eBook is now only 99p/ppc!
Can you resist a book that has a man punching a bear on the cover, especially after our rousing tale of elf versus reindeer? OF COURSE YOU CAN’T! So head on over to Amazon and get yourself involved. And don’t forget to check back tomorrow for another Rebellion Advent special…